he thought i was a dude.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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