did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
