If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
