You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize