Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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