I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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