I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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