God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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