idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I want her autograph on my taint
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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