Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
