allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Fuck appropriateness.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
