I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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