Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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