i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
