I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
