I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize