Screwed.edu
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I could fuck to npr.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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