Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
