...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
one might say we're banned from that church
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
