apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
