Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
