Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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