i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
