Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
