Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
two words: eviction party
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
