Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im drinking this country out of the recession.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
it's like iHOP with fire
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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