omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
