If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
