she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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