i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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