also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
