The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
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