I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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