dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
