i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
