dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
please don't ironically join a cult
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