if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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