the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
