You're completely useless in the revolution.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
