I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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