I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
