Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
