do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
