Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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