New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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