He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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