At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
