No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
