As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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