yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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