So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
