nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
