If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize