Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
