It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
