I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
